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Saturday, July 04, 2009
There is time when anyone could felt emotional for no reason. There is time when anyone could felt that him/her self is not up for something/anything. There is time when anyone felt anything but good. There is time when I felt all the above mentioned. It's 3.15am right now, couldn't sleep. Right now i am at the kitchen with my laptop instead of using PC in my room, reason being- i do not wanna disturb my tired girlfriend's sleep. Having a cup of self mixed mocha(i add milo with coffee) on my right, nothing beats the taste of coffee. And to be frank, there is cigarettes on my left(although baby doesn't like me smoking, i still couldn't fully quit it yet. I did have a great reduction of each day's need- down by at least 70%, but yet...i'm still a passive smoker). Right now, my mood ain't right. I'm feeling depressed, but over what reason- i don't really know. I just felt uncomfortable, right at my left chest area. Is not about me and my girl quarreling, both of us are fine. I'm able to control my temper once again. I gave in when i should and try to avoid arguments- especially over issues that are unimportant. Life is too short to waste so much time on fighting with each other. I should love her as much as possible with the given time i'm blessed with. I don't wanna regret not loving her if someday we happen to go separate ways. I'm not doubting our love, not doubting her nor doubting myself, but things are unpredictable. I wanna make this relationship the best for her and myself even if one day we were to be apart. *Baby, don't go thinking that i am unhappy with you or doubting you, i am not. I am just trying to speak in a all-possible way* Life is really harsh, especially for us Singaporeans. Although we are lucky to live in a safe country, but high living standard here is the price to pay for that safety. Due to overwhelming of overseas talent, salary/wages are declining over the past few decades. Things are getting more expensive as well over these years. Our spending power is in a down down condition. One of my sister was born in 79' , she graduated from SP at 99' and found her first job 2months later with a starting pay of $2.2k(back then $2.2k worth much more than the current $2.2k due to expenses increases over the years). What about now? I doubt any employer would pay a fresh diploma graduates so much. I understand these employer's stand, even if i were the employer, i wouldn't pay so much to increase my expenses. People who didn't try it won't understand what i am saying. I used to talk a lot about this back then to SHELLYs and to my girl, although they believe what i told them, but i am sure they are wondering at heart how true could it be. Right now, my girl has started embarking her life as a full-time employee, although she just started for few days, i am very sure she finally feel every word i've said back then- am i right,baby? I am not saying i am a very experienced man, nor trying to tell you how great i am. Compared myself to some of my close friends, i am much lazier. Eric work and study part-time, and he do well in his studies. I respected him, all the time. He is very hardworking and positive. I got to admit that a lot of my thinkings come from him. It may be true that money ain't everything, but i can tell you that, money is ALMOST every damn thing- as close to 99%. That's the fact you gotta face, stop telling me that money can't buy you love. Yes, it is true that money can't buy love. Let me ask you this, so what if you have love alone but have no money?? The 2 of you eat grass daily? If this is how you wanna compare money with love, this is how i'm gonna counter you with my thoughts. Even being loved by someone you love, you need money to sustain yourself, pleasure yourself. Someone can tell you they don't mind being poor but if they are happy. How can you be happy when you are poor? The defination of poor is not being able to eat as much as you want, not being able to go online and view this blog because you can't afford a desktop or laptop, not being able to feed your children(imagine you are married with kids). So can you be happy? I am a very practical person. I put wealth as first place in my life. Even though my girl will read what i am blogging, she would understand how i feel, because i am like this since the day she knew me a year ago. I am sure she believe in me, even though i put wealth before her in my life, that doesn't mean i would betray our love for money. Life is about making choices, making the right choice for oneself. It is 4am already, my mood is getting better compared to just now. "To my baby: Being with you is the best occurance that had occurred in my life. Even though at times, i do admit i felt insecured, that doesn't mean i doubted you or your love. I trust you, i really do. Just that, when things are getting so nice with you, i would felt afraid of losing it. Is not about you, is about my own shadows. Believe me that you are doing it right for me, you got me so addicted to you. It's been 74days with you, and we hadn't stop seeing each other for a day, but i am still so attracted to you. Back then when i am wooing you, you were my wants. After i got you, you became my needs. I need you baby. I love you. Lamb chop." Think is time for me to sleep. Good night to all. |
Leon Chok Zhi Quan 
24 as from 13 January 2009 I'm a Capricorn Attached to Ms. Foo Yi Juan Studying at Singapore Polytechnic 
Upgrade to water-cooling Evisu jeans Strike toto group1 Tattoo New PC desk New PC chair Mini sofa Overseas trip with yijuan GPA 3.5+ for Diploma 1st child with juan is a girl with O+ blood-type Marc Ecko Watch The Stubborn Girlfriend 
S.H.E.L.L.Y.S Hui Ling Hui Shan Junnie Cassandra SP Pricilia Nick Edwin Iskandar Dover Haikal Nicholas Xue Qing Edmund Henry Friends June Regine Hui hui May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 |