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Monday, October 04, 2010
Maybe no one is viewing my blog anymore as i did not update for months. Things were great since my last post till 24th Sep 2010. Juan and i broke off. It is painful, even right now after 9 days and 10 nights. Even right now, i still couldn't believe it. I had been an irritating ex, i couldn't let go. I tried to call her, sms her and even went over once to find her in hope to salvage our relationship, but she is determine about it. My actions was irritating, childish and selfish. Is not that i don't respect her decision, is just that i don't want to lose her. She did say we can still be friends, but will it really happen? Maybe months later. Ya, maybe things did changed. Not that we had no more love, but maybe we did spent too much time together. Each time i think about walking a separate ways with her hurts. I do mean each time. I did went out with friends like Eric, his girl and Kirk whenever they are available, but she is still on my mind all the time. I really wish she is still here for me. I regretted what i had done. Well, i can't turn back time... I really wish that i receive a text message from her one day and ask me out. And she would hug me in her arms and tell me how much she misses me. I know that won't happen, she is a strong girl. She will do better than me. I am much weaker compared to her. I have no courage to endure all this, but i am force to. Sometimes, it feels so painful that i feel like giving up. Grab a sharp object and stab it on my chest(i won't do that, just a description). Seriously, it hurts badly this time. Maybe i really did put in the most on her. Even though it did not turn out great, but i did not regret giving her my everything, because i know our 18months together were all real. She did a lot for me too. I'm grateful. If i really have another chance to be with her in the future, i swear i will make things damn right for us this time. I ain't sure if that is gonna happen, but to be honest.....she is really special. Don't think i could find someone equivalent. I love her laughter, i love the way she forced plucking my hairs, i love the way she asked me to carry her to toilet when she is lazy to walk, i love her taking initiatives, i love the way she teases me, i love the way she sleeps, i love the way she asked me for help, i love her clumsiness, i love how she text me in the morning. I just love the way she loved me. "Baby, i know i shouldn't call you that anymore. If you happen to read this post someday, i just wanna tell you that, i have been loving you since the day i started to know you after chatting on MSN. and as silly as it seem, i will carry on to do so, quietly.... Even though we may have someone new in our life, but you are one girl who i really put in the most in chasing you, liking you and loving you. Memories we had will never be forgotten, and if someday somebody were to ask me who you ever loved the most, the answer would be you. Even i don't really wish to leave, but i sincerely bless you in whatever you are doing, and if someday we really happen to fall in love once more, i will make it right and will not let this happen again. I love you baby. One thing that will never change." |
Leon Chok Zhi Quan 
24 as from 13 January 2009 I'm a Capricorn Attached to Ms. Foo Yi Juan Studying at Singapore Polytechnic 
Upgrade to water-cooling Evisu jeans Strike toto group1 Tattoo New PC desk New PC chair Mini sofa Overseas trip with yijuan GPA 3.5+ for Diploma 1st child with juan is a girl with O+ blood-type Marc Ecko Watch The Stubborn Girlfriend 
S.H.E.L.L.Y.S Hui Ling Hui Shan Junnie Cassandra SP Pricilia Nick Edwin Iskandar Dover Haikal Nicholas Xue Qing Edmund Henry Friends June Regine Hui hui May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 |